i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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