You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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