ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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