whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
