I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
