apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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