even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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