nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
