Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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