it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
