STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
