when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
