Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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