The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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