Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
