i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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