Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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