If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
