i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize