Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
