The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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