It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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