Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
