Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
ttyl tear gas
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
