Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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