before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
