My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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