he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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