we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
then he tried to convert me to islam
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
