Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
