dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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