Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
