just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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