I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
