If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
