I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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