Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
