Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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