its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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