the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
