jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
