I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
