so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
