do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was born a porn star she said
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
