I am full of burrito and curiosity
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
