I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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