But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
