theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
