you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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