I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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