i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
