You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
