I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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